"Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money."
-Zach Galifianakis
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"My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.“
-Zach Galifianakis
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"We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always debates. Being of Greek background, it's in our blood to drink coffee and talk politics."
-Zach Galifianakis
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"When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there."
-Zach Galifianakis
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"We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny."
-Zach Galifianakis
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"I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny."
-Zach Galifianakis
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"Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious."
-Zach Galifianakis
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"To me I'm just a regular person going to the mall with friends, and now I'm in Forever 21 and I see this random group of girls staring at me and taking pictures. But now I usually have my dad, who is a really tall and intimidating person with me, so he's kind of my bodyguard."
-Rebecca Black
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"My sensei was a British karate champion named Brian Fitkin. He was my mentor and because I had a hard relationship with my dad, he became a father figure to me."
-Dolph Lundgren
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"Everyone gets surprised because neither one of my parents play golf. Like I said in my speech, my aunt and uncle really love golf, and we visited them, and she gave me two clubs. Like people think when they don't know who my dad is, they think he's my coach."
-Lydia Ko
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"I have mostly been terrified of listening to scary stories around a campfire. We camp a lot as a family, and at night my dad would try and tell us scary stories. This made eating s'mores difficult. The story would start with something like... 'and the old man who lived in these woods...' I would then run back into the camper terrified."
-Willow Shields
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"You know that family is going to be there for you no matter what. My dad gave me a freakin' kidney!"
-Sarah Hyland
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"I lost my mother, who suffered from Alzheimer's disease, and we had to relocate my dad after 58 years in the family home. That was tough."
-Doug Davidson
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