"I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."
-Demetri Martin
christmasView Quote
"But what I was going to say was, I just figured I'm going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me.“
-Demetri Martin
posted in dreams
Other Quotes
Discover more inspiring quotes from our collection
"I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar!"
-Demetri Martin
womenView Quote
"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."
-Demetri Martin
womenView Quote
"I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar!"
-Demetri Martin
trustView Quote
"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."
-Demetri Martin
trustView Quote
"If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half."
-Demetri Martin
timeView Quote
Same Category
More quotes in this category
"I would go to bed every night and have dreams about having a time machine and somehow I'd have the ability to move through time and space freely, and save Anne Frank."
-Jeff Mangum
dreamsView Quote
"There are no dreams too large, no innovation unimaginable and no frontiers beyond our reach."
-John S. Herrington
dreamsView Quote
"I'll see you in my dreams."
-Gus Kahn
dreamsView Quote
"When your dreams tire, they go underground and out of kindness that's where they stay."
-Libby Houston
dreamsView Quote
"Tell me about yourself - your struggles, your dreams, your telephone number."
-Peter Arno
dreamsView Quote
"Don't be afraid of your dreams."
-Jacques Parizeau
dreamsView Quote