"I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home."
-W. C. Fields
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"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
-W. C. Fields
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"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."
-W. C. Fields
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"No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree."
-W. C. Fields
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"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."
-W. C. Fields
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"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."
-W. C. Fields
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"While Free Choice Vouchers didn't fulfill my vision of a health care system in which every American would be empowered to hire and fire their insurance company, they were a foothold for choice and competition and a safety valve for Americans whose employers are already forcing them to bear more and more of their family's health insurance costs."
-Ron Wyden
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"The importance of human life should be universally respected - and that refers to children before they are born and after. All children have the right to be brought up in a loving two-parent family where the notion of divorce is not even possible."
-Christopher Monckton
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"More than any other setting - more than battlefields or boardrooms or a spaceship headed for intergalactic travel - I'll put my money on the family to provide an endless source of comedy, tragedy and intrigue."
-Joyce Maynard
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"But I am Armenian and I understand what it is to lose a country and lose a family and have massacres and genocides and everything against my people."
-Andrea Martin
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"I've always known I wanted a family."
-Charlize Theron
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"And whereas women had to fight to find their way into the workforce, men are now fighting to reclaim their place in the family structure."
-Bob Geldof
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