"Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"At the time when this famous historical battle was fought in Kosovo, the people were looking at the stars, expecting aid from them. Now, six centuries later, they are looking at the stars again, waiting to conquer them."
-Slobodan Milosevic
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"They can gas me, but I am famous. I have achieved in one day what it took Robert Kennedy all his life to do."
-Sirhan Sirhan
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"I don't see myself as famous at all so I'm continuing my life as normal."
-Ashley Madekwe
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"People should recognize who you are and how you can act rather then how famous you are."
-Mae Whitman
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"Practically everyone in Hollywood has a neighbor who's been famous, wants to be famous, is famous, has been married to someone famous, worked with someone famous, slept with someone famous, been blackmailed by someone famous."
-Jennifer Grey
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"I think the thing to remember, though, the next time you hear someone who is really certain that he is on the side of the angels, is that the idea of angels was created by human beings, who are famous for being frequently untrustworthy and occasional."
-Jon Carroll
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