"I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it."
-Demetri Martin
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"But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.“
-Demetri Martin
posted in freedom
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"I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar!"
-Demetri Martin
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"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."
-Demetri Martin
womenView Quote
"I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar!"
-Demetri Martin
trustView Quote
"I love women, but I feel like you can't trust some of them. Some of them are liars, you know? Like I was in the park and I met this girl, she was cute and she had a dog. And I went up to her, we started talking. She told me her dog's name. Then I said, 'Does he bite?' She said, 'No.' And I said, 'Oh yeah? Then how does he eat?' Liar."
-Demetri Martin
trustView Quote
"If I have to move up in a building, I choose the elevator over the escalator. Because one time I was riding the escalator and I tripped. I fell down the stairs for an hour and a half."
-Demetri Martin
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"Men must stop being jealous of their power and generously allow freedom and responsibility to others. The reward is harmonious families and society."
-Delphine de Girardin
freedomView Quote
"Although we have, in theory, abolished human slavery, recognized women's rights, and stopped child labor, we continue to enslave other species who, if we simply pay attention, show quite clearly that they experience parental love, pain, and the desire for freedom, just as we do."
-Ingrid Newkirk
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"What is our freedom fight about? Is it about the liberation of children or just having sex with them?"
-Kate Millett
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"If I am outspoken of the dangers of intemperance to members of our armed forces, it is because we are all especially concerned for the welfare of those who are risking their lives in the cause of freedom."
-William Lyon Mackenzie King
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"We must guard against the overreaching hand of big government trying to take away our freedom. And we must always protect the environment in a manner consistent with our values."
-Steve Forbes
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"The main thing I believe in is freedom."
-Charles Evers
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