"Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking."
-Bill Vaughan
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"Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.“
-Bill Vaughan
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"Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day."
-Bill Vaughan
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"Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them."
-Bill Vaughan
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"The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does."
-Bill Vaughan
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"A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works."
-Bill Vaughan
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"I'm an actor. And I guess I've done so many movies I've achieved some high visibility. But a star? I guess I still think of myself as kind of a worker ant."
-Bill Vaughan
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Same Category
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"The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice."
-Joey Lauren Adams
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"But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that."
-Wanda Sykes
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"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
-Artie Lange
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"I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business."
-Wanda Sykes
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"When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."
-Shirin Ebadi
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"So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life."
-Piper Perabo
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