"I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war."
-Lily Tomlin
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"The best mind-altering drug is the truth."
-Lily Tomlin
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"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?"
-Lily Tomlin
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"I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework."
-Lily Tomlin
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"The road to success is always under construction."
-Lily Tomlin
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"Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world."
-Lily Tomlin
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"The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice."
-Joey Lauren Adams
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"But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that."
-Wanda Sykes
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"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
-Artie Lange
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"I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business."
-Wanda Sykes
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"When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."
-Shirin Ebadi
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"So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life."
-Piper Perabo
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