"Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail."
-Fran Lebowitz
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"There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior."
-Fran Lebowitz
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Same Category
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"The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice."
-Joey Lauren Adams
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"But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that."
-Wanda Sykes
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"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
-Artie Lange
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"I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business."
-Wanda Sykes
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"When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."
-Shirin Ebadi
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"So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life."
-Piper Perabo
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