"People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah, no, I'm gonna hang onto them and they're gonna fuel my attack."
-Charlie Sheen
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"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.“
-Charlie Sheen
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"I try to be known more for my work than for anything else."
-Charlie Sheen
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"We're going to shoot one Polaroid per show. I'm going to sign this before it even develops because I know that once it develops with my signature on it, it's worth a fortune. I'll make this a work of magic warlock art."
-Charlie Sheen
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"I think what drove me insane for a long time is feeling like I hadn't earned most of what I achieved because it came so fast."
-Charlie Sheen
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"When friends asked me, Can we help? I'd say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock. I used that line from Star Wars."
-Charlie Sheen
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"I'm dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don't have time for these clowns."
-Charlie Sheen
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"The last person they expected to connect with a screenplay was the comedic, blonde actress with the funny voice."
-Joey Lauren Adams
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"But I think funny and talent will always win out I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that."
-Wanda Sykes
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"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."
-Artie Lange
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"I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business."
-Wanda Sykes
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"When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group."
-Shirin Ebadi
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"So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life."
-Piper Perabo
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