"I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home."
-W. C. Fields
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"Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.“
-W. C. Fields
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"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
-W. C. Fields
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"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."
-W. C. Fields
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"No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree."
-W. C. Fields
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"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."
-W. C. Fields
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"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."
-W. C. Fields
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Same Category
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"A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of."
-Joseph Addison
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"To have a great man for a friend seems pleasant to those who have never tried it those who have, fear it."
-Horace
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"Science is the great antidote to the poison of enthusiasm and superstition."
-Adam Smith
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"I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great."
-Shaun White
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"Nobody, I think, ought to read poetry, or look at pictures or statues, who cannot find a great deal more in them than the poet or artist has actually expressed. Their highest merit is suggestiveness."
-Nathaniel Hawthorne
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"I remember a great America where we made everything. There was a time when the only thing you got from Japan was a really bad cheap transistor radio that some aunt gave you for Christmas."
-Cher
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