"Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.“
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Women in love are less ashamed than men. They have less to be ashamed of."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"What this country needs what every country needs occasionally is a good hard bloody war to revive the vice of patriotism on which its existence as a nation depends."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."
-Ambrose Bierce
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"Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public."
-Tom Walsh
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"The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story."
-Stephen Sommers
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"This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humor section."
-John Callahan
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"Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny."
-Will Eisner
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"We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor."
-Bobby Clarke
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"You may not like the humor, but that is why every radio has an on-off button."
-Mel Karmazin
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