"The wedding took place in Vermont, where they have legalized gay civil unions, and I married a woman."
-Craig Ferguson
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"I think I'm just someone that just tries to get by. I'm kind of - if it was during the Second World War, I'd be a black marketeer, I think."
-Craig Ferguson
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"If Scotland and America go to war, I'm afraid I've already sworn in."
-Craig Ferguson
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"I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'"
-Craig Ferguson
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"I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained."
-Craig Ferguson
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"I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny."
-Craig Ferguson
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Same Category
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"Humor results when society says you can't scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public."
-Tom Walsh
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"The best scary movies have great humor in them and a great story."
-Stephen Sommers
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"This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humor section."
-John Callahan
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"Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny."
-Will Eisner
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"We take the shortest route to the puck and arrive in ill humor."
-Bobby Clarke
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"You may not like the humor, but that is why every radio has an on-off button."
-Mel Karmazin
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