"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
-Woody Allen
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"I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."
-Woody Allen
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"Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once."
-Woody Allen
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"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all."
-Woody Allen
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"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."
-Woody Allen
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"I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers."
-Woody Allen
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"People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'"
-Adam Carolla
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"The fellow that has no money is poor. The fellow that has nothing but money is poorer still."
-Billy Sunday
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"Kids are meant to believe that their stepping stone to massive money is 'The X Factor.' Luck is great, but most of life is hard work. We do not celebrate people who have made success out of serious hard work."
-Iain Duncan Smith
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"Because I don't take money, I'll go anywhere and do a benefit concert with almost any orchestra."
-David Ogden Stiers
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"Nothing except the mint can make money without advertising."
-Thomas B. Macaulay
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"Thankfully, due to the United Kingdom and the commitment of the Westminster government we are able to ensure that money brought in, whether it be from the City of London or from North Sea oil, can be pooled and directed to wherever it is needed most. That is what being in the United Kingdom is all about."
-Iain Duncan Smith
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