"A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen."
-Kin Hubbard
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"Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.“
-Kin Hubbard
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"Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil."
-Kin Hubbard
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"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?"
-Kin Hubbard
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"If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest."
-Kin Hubbard
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"We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate."
-Kin Hubbard
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"No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish."
-Kin Hubbard
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Same Category
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"Windows are as essential to office prestige as Christmas is to retailing."
-Enid Nemy
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"Then, when I got in the military, I used to host - even in high school - I hosted the talent shows, and when I was in the military I would host all of our base Christmas parties and stuff."
-Gary Owens
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"At school, there was an annual school disco and I'd be standing in my bedroom wondering what to wear for hours on end. Eventually I'd arrive at a decision that was just the most ridiculous costume you could have ever devised - I think it was probably knitted Christmas jumpers on top of buttoned-up white shirts."
-Guy Berryman
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"No sane local official who has hung up an empty stocking over the municipal fireplace, is going to shoot Santa Claus just before a hard Christmas."
-Alfred E. Smith
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"In our racist, sexist society, Christmas is the 8 hours when we stop killing each other and gratutious over eating is encouraged so that the starving and other people in the world can die!"
-Lloyd Kaufman
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"I wouldn't recommend young kids see 'Speedway Junkie.' It's definitely an age-appropriate movie - dark and realistic and edgy. If young kids want to see me, go see the Christmas movie."
-Jonathan Taylor Thomas
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