"I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home."
-W. C. Fields
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"All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women."
-W. C. Fields
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"Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one."
-W. C. Fields
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"No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree."
-W. C. Fields
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"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."
-W. C. Fields
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"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water."
-W. C. Fields
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"Democracy functions best when we have an active citizenry."
-Rick Perry
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"I've found the best way is to not be scared of the attention but to be grateful for it and open to it. It makes my days better rather than being annoyed that people want my attention."
-Brandon Routh
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"What I love best in life is new starts."
-Karl Lagerfeld
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"Recruitment and retention are critical to sustain our Armed Forces with the best men and women willing to stand in the gap and make huge sacrifices to ensure our freedom."
-Zack Wamp
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"One of the best things for a woman to hear is that she is sexy."
-Scarlett Johansson
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"I'm either going to go completely mental, completely bankrupt, or have the best success of my life."
-Katy Perry
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