"Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself."
-David Sedaris
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"I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.“
-David Sedaris
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"But most good movies have a gun in them."
-David Sedaris
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"I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me."
-David Sedaris
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"I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone."
-David Sedaris
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"When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard."
-David Sedaris
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"The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons."
-David Sedaris
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"You do have to change things as warfare changes."
-Charles Schumer
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"My kid could get a bad X-ray and I could get a call from the doctor saying I have something growing in my bum and that would change my perspective on everything instantaneously, on what is and what is not important."
-Tom Hanks
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"What creates freedom? A revolution in the streets? Mass protest? Civil war? A change of government? The ousting of the old guard and its replacement by the new? History, more often than not, shows that hopes raised by such events are often dashed, sooner rather than later."
-Jonathan Sacks
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"Europe is dying. That is one of the unsayable truths of our time. We are undergoing the moral equivalent of climate change and no one is talking about it."
-Jonathan Sacks
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"Most of what needs to be changed in the euro zone can be done without treaty changes. The demand for treaty change is as political as it is legal and I don't think it's going to happen soon."
-Nick Clegg
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"Much can and must be done by governments, but they cannot of themselves change lives."
-Jonathan Sacks
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