"I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out."
-Jay London
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"I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights."
-Jay London
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"I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?"
-Jay London
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"I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger."
-Jay London
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"It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes."
-Jay London
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"I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights."
-Jay London
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"The Peking man was a thinking being, standing erect, dating to the beginning of the Ice Age."
-Davidson Black
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"I'm a bad dater - I'm just not good at it. It's so weird dating in this town. It's like high school. I get a lot of people who have their publicist call my agent to ask, 'Is she dating anyone?'"
-Jules Asner
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"I got that experience through dating dozens of men for six years after college, getting an entry level magazine job at 21, working in the fiction department at Good Housekeeping and then working as a fashion editor there as well as writing many articles for the magazine."
-Judith Krantz
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"I was dating a guy that was a huge wrestling fan and I'm embarrassed to say it now but I used to make fun of him for watching it."
-Torrie Wilson
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"I don't really talk about my personal life. It's a strange and funny and weird thing. Sometimes you have a conversation with someone and the paparazzi snaps a picture of you and people decide you're dating. If I try to answer everything people say, I would be up all night."
-Tracee Ellis Ross
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"I'm the one who's dating the craft-service guy instead of the producer. Plus, if a producer is going to date a hot young thing, I'm probably not the first person on their list - the weird, quirky, funny girl."
-Whitney Cummings
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