"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.“
-Mitch Hedberg
posted in dreams
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"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'"
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I would go to bed every night and have dreams about having a time machine and somehow I'd have the ability to move through time and space freely, and save Anne Frank."
-Jeff Mangum
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"There are no dreams too large, no innovation unimaginable and no frontiers beyond our reach."
-John S. Herrington
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"I'll see you in my dreams."
-Gus Kahn
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"When your dreams tire, they go underground and out of kindness that's where they stay."
-Libby Houston
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"Tell me about yourself - your struggles, your dreams, your telephone number."
-Peter Arno
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"Don't be afraid of your dreams."
-Jacques Parizeau
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