"You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike."
-Dave Attell
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"I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on."
-Dave Attell
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"I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me."
-Dave Attell
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"I never wanted to be famous."
-Dave Attell
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"I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool."
-Dave Attell
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"For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended."
-Dave Attell
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"At the time when this famous historical battle was fought in Kosovo, the people were looking at the stars, expecting aid from them. Now, six centuries later, they are looking at the stars again, waiting to conquer them."
-Slobodan Milosevic
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"They can gas me, but I am famous. I have achieved in one day what it took Robert Kennedy all his life to do."
-Sirhan Sirhan
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"I don't see myself as famous at all so I'm continuing my life as normal."
-Ashley Madekwe
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"People should recognize who you are and how you can act rather then how famous you are."
-Mae Whitman
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"Practically everyone in Hollywood has a neighbor who's been famous, wants to be famous, is famous, has been married to someone famous, worked with someone famous, slept with someone famous, been blackmailed by someone famous."
-Jennifer Grey
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"I think the thing to remember, though, the next time you hear someone who is really certain that he is on the side of the angels, is that the idea of angels was created by human beings, who are famous for being frequently untrustworthy and occasional."
-Jon Carroll
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