"Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'“

-Rodney Dangerfield

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Rodney Dangerfield quote about god: "Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'"

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"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."

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"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide he exposes himself."

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"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."

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"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

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"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."

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"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."

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"Discernment is God's call to intercession, never to faultfinding."

-Corrie Ten Boom

"I really am pretty happy with what God gave me."

-Jennifer Aniston

"Man's sin is in his failure to live what he is. Being the master of the earth, man forgets that he is the servant of God."

-Abraham Joshua Heschel

"I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me."

-Jimmy Carter

"The face you have at age 25 is the face God gave you, but the face you have after 50 is the face you earned."

-Cindy Crawford

"We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus but our ideas about Santa Claus change, mature and become more nuanced, whereas our ideas of God can remain at a rather infantile level."

-Karen Armstrong