"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart.“

-Mitch Hedberg

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Mitch Hedberg quote about good: "I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."

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"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."

-Mitch Hedberg

"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."

-Mitch Hedberg

"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."

-Mitch Hedberg

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"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."

-Mitch Hedberg

"Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'"

-Mitch Hedberg

"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."

-Mitch Hedberg

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"There's no regret. You can't regret. I mean, I've felt regret but I've also refused to allow regret to sow a seed and live in me because I don't believe it. You feel it, it's like guilt, it's like jealousy, it's like all those horrible things. You've just got to snip them and get them out, because they're no good."

-Jude Law

"God is everywhere but He is most manifest in man. So serve man as God. That is as good as worshipping God."

-Ramakrishna

"My mother gave lots of good advice and had a lot to say. As you get older, you realize everything she said was true."

-Lenny Kravitz

"Bear and endure: This sorrow will one day prove to be for your good."

-Ovid

"Let's not be afraid to speak the common sense truth: you can't have high standards without good discipline."

-William Hague

"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."

-Phyllis Diller