"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
-Henny Youngman
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"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."
-Henny Youngman
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"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
-Henny Youngman
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
-Henny Youngman
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"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
-Henny Youngman
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
-Henny Youngman
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Same Category
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"On a soap, happiness never lasts for very long!"
-Chandler Massey
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"In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it."
-Rex Reed
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"What is the worth of anything, But for the happiness 'twill bring?"
-Richard Owen Cambridge
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"There is only one real happiness in life, and that is the happiness of creating."
-Frederick Delius
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"The unproductive tillage of human cattle takes that which of right belongs to free labor, and which is necessary for the support and happiness of our own race."
-David Wilmot
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"Purring would seem to be, in her case, an automatic safety valve device for dealing with happiness overflow."
-Monica Edwards
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