"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide he exposes himself."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"Sometime they don't let you know that they know that they don't know everything, but the core of the medical approach is that you try to identify pathologies, which are subsystems within the human body or the larger system that are having undesirable consequences."
-Guy Burgess
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"Kids coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan deserve to come back to 21st century medical care."
-Anthony Principi
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"There is no medical proof that television causes brain damage - at least from over five feet away. In fact, TV is probably the least physically harmful of all the narcotics known to man."
-Christopher Lehmann-Haupt
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"We need to bridge the gap between the medical libraries and the hospital rooms take the information out there already, add to it, focus it, harness it - and bring it to the patient who was just diagnosed today."
-Bruce Vento
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"I found out that colonels can stay until they drop dead or get a walker and being a critical medical specialty as an Army trained emergency room doctor, I could stay until age 67."
-Gerald Griffin
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"I broke down while at Oxford, was rejected by a record number of medical tribunals during the War, and finally got permission to leave Oxford and do civilian work till the War ended."
-Leonard Alfred George Strong
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