"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays."
-Henny Youngman
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"When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.“
-Henny Youngman
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"This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest."
-Henny Youngman
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"Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport."
-Henny Youngman
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
-Henny Youngman
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"A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student."
-Henny Youngman
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
-Henny Youngman
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"Sometime they don't let you know that they know that they don't know everything, but the core of the medical approach is that you try to identify pathologies, which are subsystems within the human body or the larger system that are having undesirable consequences."
-Guy Burgess
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"Kids coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan deserve to come back to 21st century medical care."
-Anthony Principi
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"There is no medical proof that television causes brain damage - at least from over five feet away. In fact, TV is probably the least physically harmful of all the narcotics known to man."
-Christopher Lehmann-Haupt
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"We need to bridge the gap between the medical libraries and the hospital rooms take the information out there already, add to it, focus it, harness it - and bring it to the patient who was just diagnosed today."
-Bruce Vento
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"I found out that colonels can stay until they drop dead or get a walker and being a critical medical specialty as an Army trained emergency room doctor, I could stay until age 67."
-Gerald Griffin
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"I broke down while at Oxford, was rejected by a record number of medical tribunals during the War, and finally got permission to leave Oxford and do civilian work till the War ended."
-Leonard Alfred George Strong
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