"When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking."
-Elayne Boosler
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"Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?“
-Elayne Boosler
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"I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent."
-Elayne Boosler
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"I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food."
-Elayne Boosler
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"I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots."
-Elayne Boosler
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"I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'"
-Elayne Boosler
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"I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'"
-Elayne Boosler
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"People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'"
-Adam Carolla
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"The fellow that has no money is poor. The fellow that has nothing but money is poorer still."
-Billy Sunday
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"Kids are meant to believe that their stepping stone to massive money is 'The X Factor.' Luck is great, but most of life is hard work. We do not celebrate people who have made success out of serious hard work."
-Iain Duncan Smith
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"Because I don't take money, I'll go anywhere and do a benefit concert with almost any orchestra."
-David Ogden Stiers
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"Nothing except the mint can make money without advertising."
-Thomas B. Macaulay
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"Thankfully, due to the United Kingdom and the commitment of the Westminster government we are able to ensure that money brought in, whether it be from the City of London or from North Sea oil, can be pooled and directed to wherever it is needed most. That is what being in the United Kingdom is all about."
-Iain Duncan Smith
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