"As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job."
-Roseanne Barr
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"I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.“
-Roseanne Barr
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"Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself."
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it."
-Roseanne Barr
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"My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel."
-Roseanne Barr
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it."
-Roseanne Barr
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"I know how to do anything, I'm a mom."
-Roseanne Barr
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"I'm hosting weekend retreats all over America. It is like a 24-hour slumber party for moms. We laugh, eat, play games, get massages, win prizes, talk about parenting and even cry a bit."
-Lisa Whelchel
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"In response to our fast-food culture, a 'slow food' movement appeared. Out of hurried parenthood, a move toward slow parenting could be growing. With vital government supports for state-of-the-art public child care and paid parental leave, maybe we would be ready to try slow love and marriage."
-Arlie Russell Hochschild
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"For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny quips about life, parenting, and pop culture, then by all means read Michael Ian Black's tweets."
-Michael Showalter
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"I'm a parent, especially when you've had the intense parenting the way I had. It's all in the bank. It's all in the great experience bank. Those are your secrets. That's the stuff that makes your work rich, that's what you dip into."
-Hector Elizondo
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"Parents are key when it comes to keeping kids off drugs. Good parenting is the best anti-drug we have."
-Mel Carnahan
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"My kids love it. I thought I was the coolest dad in the world when I got to be in a Bond film, but 'Harry Potter', too? Well, I think I qualify for a medal for exceptional parenting or something, don't you?"
-Robbie Coltraine
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