"Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!"
-Jay Leno
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"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
-Jay Leno
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"CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it."
-Jay Leno
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"The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular."
-Jay Leno
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"Al Jazeera aired a new tape of Osama bin Laden. It was the usual stuff, he called Bush evil, the Great Satan, called him a war monger. Basically, the same thing you heard at last night's Democratic debate."
-Jay Leno
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"Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution."
-Jay Leno
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"The only politics in this country that's relevant to black people today is the politics of revolution... none other."
-H. Rap Brown
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"On the mountains mistakes are fatal. In politics, mistakes are wounding emotionally, but you recover. Personally, wilderness helps me get back in touch with natural rhythms, helps me reflect and, in the process, restore my creativity."
-Mark Udall
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"The difference between the men and the boys in politics is, and always has been, that the boys want to be something, while the men want to do something."
-Eric Sevareid
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"We mistake politics for legislative debate. You can be passionate without being personal."
-Richard Dreyfuss
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"First, take the government of the Indians out of politics second, let the laws of the Indians be the same as those of the whites third, give the Indian the ballot."
-George Crook
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"Politics was my third act. But I could have a fourth. I don't know what that will be yet, but there will be one."
-Gary Ackerman
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