"Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie."
-Rita Rudner
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"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
-Rita Rudner
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"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?"
-Rita Rudner
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"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in."
-Rita Rudner
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"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax."
-Rita Rudner
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"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
-Rita Rudner
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"You can take Elvis. You can take Marilyn Monroe. Success and fame will not be the answer if something inside of you is bothering you, if things in your mind aren't going right."
-Linda Evans
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"Once you can accept failure, you can have fun and success."
-Rickey Henderson
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"It's not just the NFL. Every other league has a draft. It has been fundamental to the success of professional sports."
-Roger Goodell
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"Fame and success are very different things."
-Enya
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"It's an awesome responsibility, not only to maintain the level of success the NFL has, but to build on that."
-Roger Goodell
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"Nothing good comes in life or athletics unless a lot of hard work has preceded the effort. Only temporary success is achieved by taking short cuts."
-Roger Staubach
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