"I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor."
-Joan Rivers
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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.“
-Joan Rivers
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"What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care."
-Joan Rivers
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"Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise."
-Joan Rivers
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"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."
-Joan Rivers
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"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
-Joan Rivers
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"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'."
-Joan Rivers
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"All War Departments are now Defense Departments. This is all part of the doubletalk of our time. The aggressor is always on the other side."
-George Wald
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"War is not civilized."
-Talib Kweli
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"The concept of war crimes is an American invention."
-George Wald
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"Howard Dean has been successful because he was clear in his opposition to the war. People appreciate a politician with the courage to say, I oppose this war."
-Bianca Jagger
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"I think its man's nature to go to war and fight."
-Talib Kweli
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"There is nothing worth having that can he obtained by nuclear war - nothing material or ideological - no tradition that it can defend. It is utterly self-defeating."
-George Wald
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