"Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep."
-Dave Barry
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"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.“
-Dave Barry
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"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
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"I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War."
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"The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs."
-Dave Barry
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"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
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"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
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"I don't think balance is something you get from someone else it's something women have to find from within. For me, finding balance is still a work in progress."
-Rachel Weisz
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"From sixteen to twenty, all women, kept in humor by their hopes and by their attractions, appear to be good-natured."
-Samuel Richardson
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"I love women more than anything."
-Vin Diesel
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"When they take surveys of women in business, of the Fortune 500, the successful women, 80% of them, say they were in sports as a young woman."
-Billie Jean King
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"The Cause of Women is generally the Cause of Virtue."
-Samuel Richardson
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"Women are always most observed when they seem themselves least to observe, or to lay out for observation."
-Samuel Richardson
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