"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."
-Emo Philips
womenView Quote
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.“
-Emo Philips
posted in work
Other Quotes
Discover more inspiring quotes from our collection
"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."
-Emo Philips
smileView Quote
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
-Emo Philips
morningView Quote
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
-Emo Philips
morningView Quote
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
-Emo Philips
moneyView Quote
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
-Emo Philips
menView Quote
Same Category
More quotes in this category
"I was interested by the idea that artists working in a totalitarian dictatorship or tsarist autocracy are secretly and slightly shamefully envied by artists who work in freedom. They have the gratification of intense interest: the authorities want to put them in jail, while there are younger readers for whom what they write is pure oxygen."
-Tom Stoppard
workView Quote
"Working with my dad was such a gas. We approached the work in a similar way. We only made two films together when I was an adult, Tucker, and Blown Away, but it was so much fun to play with your parent like that."
-Jeff Bridges
workView Quote
"My work always tried to unite the true with the beautiful but when I had to choose one or the other, I usually chose the beautiful."
-Tom Stoppard
workView Quote
"The artist belongs to his work, not the work to the artist."
-Novalis
workView Quote
"Close your bodily eye, that you may see your picture first with the eye of the spirit. Then bring to light what you have seen in the darkness, that its effect may work back, from without to within."
-Caspar David Friedrich
workView Quote
"The basis of computer work is predicated on the idea that only the brain makes decisions and only the index finger does the work."
-Brian Eno
workView Quote