"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!“
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'"
-Mitch Hedberg
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"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."
-Mitch Hedberg
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"It's amazing that something only an atom thick can be an impenetrable barrier. You can have gas on one side and vacuum or liquid on the other, and with a wall only one atom thick, nothing would go through it."
-Paul McEuen
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"I just feel energized when I am around young, talented people. There is something about these kids that's amazing. I learn as much from them as they do from me."
-Sally Struthers
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"The fact that I even get in Broadway shows is, to me, still amazing, but then to win a Tony was just incredible."
-Jane Krakowski
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"Obviously, there's the seedy side of the strip club world and pole dancing. But, pole dancing, as an art form, is really beautiful. It's been hyper-sexualized because it's associated with strippers, but if you think about it, just in terms of other kinds of dancing, they're using an instrument to create these amazing dance forms."
-Megalyn Echikunwoke
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"I think Gina Rowlands is an amazing actress."
-Angela Sarafyan
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"It's amazing... to enjoy the results of your labor."
-Michael Rady
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