"That's the true spirit of Christmas people being helped by people other than me."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'“
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"Men want to make women happy."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.'"
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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"Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome."
-Jerry Seinfeld
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Same Category
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"I sing a little bit. I got a guitar for my 16th birthday."
-Jesse Plemons
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"And I was very shy as a kid if you sang me 'Happy Birthday,' I would cry. Quite shy. So the idea of being an actor, much less a model, was just out of this world."
-Cody Horn
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"I used to go down every year for the remembrance of Elvis' birthday. Memphis State College invited me to sit in the auditorium and speak to the people for one of those Elvis days."
-Otis Blackwell
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"Brilliantly lit from stem to stern, she looked like a sagging birthday cake."
-Walter Lord
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"Lucy took care of me on the set, and made sure that none of the crew cussed around me. She also had birthday parties for me and made sure that they were well attended."
-Keith Thibodeaux
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"With a recent birthday, I've been acting now for twenty years."
-Thayer David
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