"If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work."
-Mitch Hedberg
workView Quote
"I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.“
-Mitch Hedberg
posted in birthday
Other Quotes
Discover more inspiring quotes from our collection
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
-Mitch Hedberg
workView Quote
"I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life."
-Mitch Hedberg
womenView Quote
"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
-Mitch Hedberg
timeView Quote
"Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'"
-Mitch Hedberg
timeView Quote
"I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all."
-Mitch Hedberg
timeView Quote
Same Category
More quotes in this category
"I sing a little bit. I got a guitar for my 16th birthday."
-Jesse Plemons
birthdayView Quote
"And I was very shy as a kid if you sang me 'Happy Birthday,' I would cry. Quite shy. So the idea of being an actor, much less a model, was just out of this world."
-Cody Horn
birthdayView Quote
"I used to go down every year for the remembrance of Elvis' birthday. Memphis State College invited me to sit in the auditorium and speak to the people for one of those Elvis days."
-Otis Blackwell
birthdayView Quote
"Brilliantly lit from stem to stern, she looked like a sagging birthday cake."
-Walter Lord
birthdayView Quote
"Lucy took care of me on the set, and made sure that none of the crew cussed around me. She also had birthday parties for me and made sure that they were well attended."
-Keith Thibodeaux
birthdayView Quote
"With a recent birthday, I've been acting now for twenty years."
-Thayer David
birthdayView Quote