"It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?"
-David Letterman
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"There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.“
-David Letterman
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"Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed."
-David Letterman
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"The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves."
-David Letterman
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"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
-David Letterman
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"We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets."
-David Letterman
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"I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host."
-David Letterman
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"Of course this is Vegas and it is the melting pot for all over the world, but people from all over the world know Donny and Marie. It is amazing. I have been in the business a long time to realize careers can be fleeting. Five years is a long career nowadays for some people, and here we are still going strong after 40 years."
-Donny Osmond
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"Our competition for American business is no longer in the next county or the next state, it's around the world."
-Karl Rove
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"McSweeney's as a publishing company is built on a business model that only works when we sell physical books. So we try to put a lot of effort into the design and production of the book-as-object."
-Dave Eggers
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"A belief in God is vitally important, not just in show business, but stability in life. You know, to recognize deity is the most important thing that you can do. I mean, it comes to the Ten Commandments. They weren't ten suggestions. They were Ten Commandments."
-Donny Osmond
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"To me, the print business model is so simple, where readers pay a dollar for all the content within, and that supports the enterprise."
-Dave Eggers
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"It's a lot of work to keep reinventing yourself and coming up with new stuff, but that's what it takes to be in show business."
-Donny Osmond
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