H. L. Mencken

"A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar."

-H. L. Mencken

"Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good."

-H. L. Mencken

"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf."

-H. L. Mencken

"A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman."

-H. L. Mencken

"Husbands never become good they merely become proficient."

-H. L. Mencken

"If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish."

-H. L. Mencken

"There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared in fifty ways and that all of them are good."

-H. L. Mencken

"Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage."

-H. L. Mencken

"The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable."

-H. L. Mencken

"The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression."

-H. L. Mencken

"I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time."

-H. L. Mencken

"All government, of course, is against liberty."

-H. L. Mencken

"Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under."

-H. L. Mencken

"No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby."

-H. L. Mencken

greatView Quote

"On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

-H. L. Mencken

greatView Quote

"Historian: an unsuccessful novelist."

-H. L. Mencken

historyView Quote

"Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age."

-H. L. Mencken

historyView Quote

"There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor."

-H. L. Mencken

humorView Quote

"It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods."

-H. L. Mencken

imaginationView Quote

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

-H. L. Mencken

imaginationView Quote

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

-H. L. Mencken

intelligenceView Quote

"No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby."

-H. L. Mencken

intelligenceView Quote

"We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine."

-H. L. Mencken

knowledgeView Quote

"The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line."

-H. L. Mencken

lifeView Quote

"Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop."

-H. L. Mencken

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."

-H. L. Mencken

"Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another."

-H. L. Mencken

"Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love."

-H. L. Mencken

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess."

-H. L. Mencken

"A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them."

-H. L. Mencken

"Adultery is the application of democracy to love."

-H. L. Mencken

"Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them."

-H. L. Mencken

"Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it."

-H. L. Mencken

"Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too."

-H. L. Mencken

"Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him."

-H. L. Mencken

"Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later for another thing, they die earlier."

-H. L. Mencken

"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?"

-H. L. Mencken

"Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest."

-H. L. Mencken

"For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end."

-H. L. Mencken

"Honor is simply the morality of superior men."

-H. L. Mencken

"Bachelors know more about women than married men if they didn't they'd be married too."

-H. L. Mencken

"Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love."

-H. L. Mencken

"The only really happy folk are married women and single men."

-H. L. Mencken

"It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world, as pastors teach, but idealism. Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously."

-H. L. Mencken

"There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor."

-H. L. Mencken

"All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it."

-H. L. Mencken

"Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good."

-H. L. Mencken

"Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later for another thing, they die earlier."

-H. L. Mencken

"Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience."

-H. L. Mencken

"What men value in this world is not rights but privileges."

-H. L. Mencken

"To die for an idea it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true!"

-H. L. Mencken