Joey Adams

"If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business."

"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all."

"Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you."

"A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing."

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway."

"Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'"