"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide he exposes himself."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me."
-Rodney Dangerfield
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"There's no regret. You can't regret. I mean, I've felt regret but I've also refused to allow regret to sow a seed and live in me because I don't believe it. You feel it, it's like guilt, it's like jealousy, it's like all those horrible things. You've just got to snip them and get them out, because they're no good."
-Jude Law
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"God is everywhere but He is most manifest in man. So serve man as God. That is as good as worshipping God."
-Ramakrishna
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"My mother gave lots of good advice and had a lot to say. As you get older, you realize everything she said was true."
-Lenny Kravitz
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"Bear and endure: This sorrow will one day prove to be for your good."
-Ovid
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"Let's not be afraid to speak the common sense truth: you can't have high standards without good discipline."
-William Hague
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"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."
-Phyllis Diller
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