"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
-George Carlin
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"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.“
-George Carlin
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"When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent."
-George Carlin
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"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
-George Carlin
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"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
-George Carlin
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"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."
-George Carlin
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"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
-George Carlin
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Same Category
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"While Free Choice Vouchers didn't fulfill my vision of a health care system in which every American would be empowered to hire and fire their insurance company, they were a foothold for choice and competition and a safety valve for Americans whose employers are already forcing them to bear more and more of their family's health insurance costs."
-Ron Wyden
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"The importance of human life should be universally respected - and that refers to children before they are born and after. All children have the right to be brought up in a loving two-parent family where the notion of divorce is not even possible."
-Christopher Monckton
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"More than any other setting - more than battlefields or boardrooms or a spaceship headed for intergalactic travel - I'll put my money on the family to provide an endless source of comedy, tragedy and intrigue."
-Joyce Maynard
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"But I am Armenian and I understand what it is to lose a country and lose a family and have massacres and genocides and everything against my people."
-Andrea Martin
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"I've always known I wanted a family."
-Charlize Theron
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"And whereas women had to fight to find their way into the workforce, men are now fighting to reclaim their place in the family structure."
-Bob Geldof
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