"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
-Emo Philips
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"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.“
-Emo Philips
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"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."
-Emo Philips
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"He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites."
-Emo Philips
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"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
-Emo Philips
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"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
-Emo Philips
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"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
-Emo Philips
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"I love my children. That will never change. I have prayed to them for forgiveness and hope that they will forgive me. I never meant to hurt them!!"
-Susan Smith
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"Any story about revenge is ultimately a story about forgiveness, redemption, or the futility of revenge."
-Nick Wechsler
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"And the only thing to do with a sin is to confess, do penance and then, after some kind of decent interval, ask for forgiveness."
-Joseph J. Ellis
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"Forgiveness is not to give the other person peace. Forgiveness is for you. Take that opportunity."
-Mackenzie Phillips
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"I really do believe that God is love, one of deep affection and grace and forgiveness and inspiration."
-William P. Young
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"And as I ask for your forgiveness, I also ask for your support to keep all things in perspective and keep all things in proportion. The good of nine years versus the bad."
-John Rowland
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