"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
-George Carlin
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"There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.“
-George Carlin
posted in future
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"When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent."
-George Carlin
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"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
-George Carlin
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"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
-George Carlin
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"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."
-George Carlin
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"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
-George Carlin
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Same Category
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"I always felt like my future was at stake every time I stepped on stage and that was kind of hair-raising. At some point I just went, don't be frightened, you can't do anything wrong, it's your show."
-Rickie Lee Jones
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"Our challenge for the future is that we realize we are very much a part of the earth's ecosystem, and we must learn to respect and live according to the basic biological laws of nature."
-Jim Fowler
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"There was a certain point in my life where I had to decide that I was going to take my future and Nicole's and not wallow in what happened to me because when you do that, you just keep repeating what's been happening and at some point you have to make a choice."
-Boris Kodjoe
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"If we are to garner sustained U.S. domestic support for future trade agreements, we have to make sure those Americans who have suffered as a consequence of past agreements have an effective social safety net, adjustment assistance, opportunities for retraining and new job creation that enables all Americans to thrive."
-Susan Rice
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"And time itself? Time was a never-ending medium that stretched into the future and the past - except there was no future and no past, but an infinite number of brackets, extending either way, each bracket enclosing its single phase of the Universe."
-Clifford D. Simak
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"The Nuclear Security Summit was President Obama's initiative born out of his vision to leave behind a safer, more prosperous world for the future generation."
-Lee Myung-bak
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