"Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie."
-Rita Rudner
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"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.“
-Rita Rudner
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"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
-Rita Rudner
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"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?"
-Rita Rudner
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"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in."
-Rita Rudner
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"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax."
-Rita Rudner
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"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
-Rita Rudner
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"A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of."
-Joseph Addison
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"To have a great man for a friend seems pleasant to those who have never tried it those who have, fear it."
-Horace
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"Science is the great antidote to the poison of enthusiasm and superstition."
-Adam Smith
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"I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can't get away from them. It's funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great."
-Shaun White
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"Nobody, I think, ought to read poetry, or look at pictures or statues, who cannot find a great deal more in them than the poet or artist has actually expressed. Their highest merit is suggestiveness."
-Nathaniel Hawthorne
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"I remember a great America where we made everything. There was a time when the only thing you got from Japan was a really bad cheap transistor radio that some aunt gave you for Christmas."
-Cher
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