"Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie."
-Rita Rudner
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"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.“
-Rita Rudner
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"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
-Rita Rudner
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"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?"
-Rita Rudner
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"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in."
-Rita Rudner
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"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax."
-Rita Rudner
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"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
-Rita Rudner
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"The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life."
-Henry Ford
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-Brooke Shields
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"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way."
-Christopher Morley
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"What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life."
-Leo Buscaglia
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"Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose the former and have seen no reason to change."
-Frank Lloyd Wright
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"Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare."
-Dale Carnegie
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