"Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie."
-Rita Rudner
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"My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.“
-Rita Rudner
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"Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?"
-Rita Rudner
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"Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?"
-Rita Rudner
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"Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in."
-Rita Rudner
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"A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax."
-Rita Rudner
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"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
-Rita Rudner
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Same Category
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"My wife disagrees with 100 percent of what I say. That's the same marriage I have."
-Curtis Sliwa
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"Other than marriage, she doesn't control me and I don't control her."
-Gavyn Davies
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"Marriage is one of the most sacred human institutions. I asked our Senators, as many South Dakotans have done, to protect marriage as a union between a man and a woman."
-Mike Rounds
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"I am a firm believer in marriage. In the future I will be married."
-Elisabetta Canalis
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"I've learned this is a very long marriage doing a television show. I like the people that I work with to be people I enjoy, so you want to cast people who are as excited and enthusiastic as you are."
-Shonda Rhimes
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"Marriage: love, honor, and negotiate."
-Joe Moore
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