"Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep."
-Dave Barry
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"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.“
-Dave Barry
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"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
-Dave Barry
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"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically."
-Dave Barry
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"I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War."
-Dave Barry
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"The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs."
-Dave Barry
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"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
-Dave Barry
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Same Category
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"Civilisation has ever accompanied emigration and conquest - the conflict of opinion, of religion, or of race."
-Alfred Russel Wallace
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"Religion is no more the parent of morality than an incubator is the mother of a chicken."
-Lemuel K. Washburn
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"I appreciate the 'Surreal Life.' I had a really positive experience on that show, and with those people. I found some love in my heart for religion again, and had the support of a new family of friends. I wouldn't have had the pleasure of meeting those people, if we were not all placed in that fishbowl."
-Vince Neil
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"Contradictory to my religion, I think, is journalism."
-Sydney Schanberg
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"Religion is the idol of the mob it adores everything it does not understand."
-Frederick II
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"When men take pleasure in feeling their minds elevated with strong drink, and so indulge their appetite as to disorder their understandings, neglect their duty as members of a family or civil society, and cast off all regard to religion, their case is much to be pitied."
-John Woolman
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