"Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep."
-Dave Barry
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"Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions.“
-Dave Barry
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"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
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"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically."
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"I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War."
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"The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs."
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"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
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Same Category
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"If we had had the right technology back then, you would have seen Eva Braun on the Donahue show and Adolf Hitler on Meet the Press."
-Ed Turner
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"Technology has changed, and we need to figure out how to improve the archaic way of what makes a hit, or how to determine how many viewers are watching beyond some people with Nielsen boxes in a small percentage of homes in random areas."
-Jim Rash
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"Being around some of the bright lights of the technology world and having them expect great things helps you sit down and do it seriously."
-Aaron Swartz
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"I don't think people buy technology products because of the personalities of the people behind them."
-Jim Balsillie
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"Just let me use the technology I want at a fair price."
-Jonathan Potter
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"But I don't think we'll go there until we go back to the moon and develop a technology base for living and working and transporting ourselves through space."
-Jack Schmitt
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