"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
-George Carlin
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"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.“
-George Carlin
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"When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent."
-George Carlin
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"I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
-George Carlin
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"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."
-George Carlin
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"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."
-George Carlin
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"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."
-George Carlin
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Same Category
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"But the wicked passions of men's hearts alone seem strong enough to leave pictures that persist the good are ever too luke-warm."
-Algernon H. Blackwood
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"Your thoughts and emotions are yours alone."
-John Buchanan Robinson
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"I think the idea that you can go this alone is - was a huge mistake. And unfortunately, there was a price paid in terms of suffering and pain for people in New Orleans."
-Michael Chertoff
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"You are forever alone."
-John Buchanan Robinson
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"I have two ideas for novels at the moment, neither of them all that conventional, but I'm not ready to choose between them yet, let alone settle down to the process of writing."
-Jonathan Coe
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"For each one of us stands alone in the midst of a universe."
-John Buchanan Robinson
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