"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place."
-Steven Wright
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"I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.“
-Steven Wright
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"I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time."
-Steven Wright
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"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
-Steven Wright
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"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time."
-Steven Wright
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"I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time."
-Steven Wright
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"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance."
-Steven Wright
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Same Category
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"I wanted to end my life so bad and was in my car ready to go down that ramp into the water, and I did go part way, but I stopped. I went again and stopped. I then got out of the car and stood by the car a nervous wreck."
-Susan Smith
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"If you don't drink, smoke, or drive a car, you're a tax evader."
-Thomas S. Foley
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"He's computerized, but I won't let him come on cold. I created KITT. I understand the personality of the car."
-William Daniels
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"I am an artist. The track is my canvas, and the car is my brush."
-Graham Hill
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"The car business is a lot like football. In football, you have to win once a week. In the car business, you have to win every day."
-Tom Dempsey
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"Since my induction into the Sports Hall of Fame, I have wanted to have my No. 3 Chevy on exhibit for sports fans to see. I hope others will enjoy the car as much as I have."
-Junior Johnson
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