"Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep."
-Dave Barry
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"I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.“
-Dave Barry
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Other Quotes
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"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice."
-Dave Barry
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"Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically."
-Dave Barry
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"I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War."
-Dave Barry
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"The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs."
-Dave Barry
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"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
-Dave Barry
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Same Category
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"I wanted to end my life so bad and was in my car ready to go down that ramp into the water, and I did go part way, but I stopped. I went again and stopped. I then got out of the car and stood by the car a nervous wreck."
-Susan Smith
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"If you don't drink, smoke, or drive a car, you're a tax evader."
-Thomas S. Foley
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"He's computerized, but I won't let him come on cold. I created KITT. I understand the personality of the car."
-William Daniels
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"I am an artist. The track is my canvas, and the car is my brush."
-Graham Hill
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"The car business is a lot like football. In football, you have to win once a week. In the car business, you have to win every day."
-Tom Dempsey
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"Since my induction into the Sports Hall of Fame, I have wanted to have my No. 3 Chevy on exhibit for sports fans to see. I hope others will enjoy the car as much as I have."
-Junior Johnson
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