Quotes by Dennis Miller - AI Generated Quotes

Dennis Miller

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

-Dennis Miller

business

I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life.

-Dennis Miller

dad

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

-Dennis Miller

death

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.

-Dennis Miller

education

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.

-Dennis Miller

education

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

-Dennis Miller

funny

I rant, therefore I am.

-Dennis Miller

funny

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

-Dennis Miller

funny

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

-Dennis Miller

marriage

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

-Dennis Miller

marriage

I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life.

-Dennis Miller

mom

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

-Dennis Miller

money

Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.

-Dennis Miller

money

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

-Dennis Miller

parenting

I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life.

-Dennis Miller

politics

I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.

-Dennis Miller

sports

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

-Dennis Miller

time

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

-Dennis Miller

trust

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

Dennis Miller

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life.

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood.

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.

I rant, therefore I am.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life.

Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what's more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?

Just put down 9/11... I think, on most things I'm liberal, except on defending ourselves and keeping half the money. Those things I'm kind of conservative on.

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

I didn't know my Dad - he moved out early. And my mom's politics were kind of hardscrabble. She didn't think about Democrats or Republicans. She thought about who made sense. I've been both in my life.

I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.

I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy.

What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.

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